As the world waits with bated breath for "Whatever You Like," the massively anticipated, T.I.-mocking new single from comedy genius Weird Al Yankovic — which was supposed to make its debut on iTunes this morning — we now receive official word that a technical "glitch" has somehow delayed its arrival and it will now, let's hope, materialize "later today." Predictably, Apple's stock price has plummeted nine points since the opening bell.

New Single Update! [Weird Al via Idolator]

USA Today checks in with Ari Graynor, the drunk chick from Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, and we find ourselves feeling something very familiar. An adorable New Yorker stealing scenes in a Michael Cera movie? It's the Olivia Thirlby Indie-Crush Playbook! But could Graynor actually wrestle the mantle away from dear Olivia? After the jump, we investigate.

Sporting his trademark silver-rimmed sunglasses (even indoors) and a staccato laugh that pops out when a particular reminiscence strikes him as amusing, director Wong Kar Wai exudes a quiet warmth somewhat at odds with the emotional coolness often explored in his films. He made his English-language debut with 2007's My Blueberry Nights and follows it up this year with a commercial rerelease of a redux version of his abstruse 1994 samurai epic, Ashes of Time, the film that first helped earn him a reputation for long shooting schedules. Never officially released outside of Asia before this, the ruminative, desert-set movie, which features a new score and swapped-out takes, hits theaters this Friday. Wong sat down with Vulture to talk about his technique.

"I won't respond to that. That doesn't even deserve the dignity of a response. I don't know the details of that. It is absolutely ridiculous … This from the Guardian? I don't believe it! It is insulting that you would even bring it up! My God … I turned down the Mail to do this!" —Faye Dunaway on the rumor that she threw a cup of urine in Roman Polanski's face when the director refused to allow bathroom breaks on the set of Chinatown [Guardian]

"You know, I'm from Texas, but the character wasn't Bush. It really wasn't Bush. Okay, it was Bush and it wasn't Bush." —Dennis Quaid on playing the president in American Dreams [A.V. Club]

"My parents shut down Disneyland for me, so I'm good for a while." —Miley Cyrus on her 16th birthday [USAT]

As should be completely obvious to anyone, Tina Fey is having a pretty terrific month. First she won like 400 Emmys for her brilliant work on the second season of 30 Rock. Then she propelled Saturday Night Live to unforeseen levels of relevance with her spot-on impersonation of beloved Alaskan politician Sarah Palin. Next, as has now become legend, she fixed the global financial crisis, captured Osama bin Laden, and rescued newborn kittens from a fire. And now she's signed a book deal! Fey will write a "book of humorous essays in the style of Nora Ephron," for Little, Brown & Co., for which she'll likely be paid an advance large enough to bail out the next five failed banks. So can anything be done to prevent the certainly imminent Tina Fey backlash?

First, Tina Fey's Sarah Palin impression helped the show score respectable ratings again, and now Saturday Night Live is the subject of an actual, real-life controversy! When the heck was the last time that happened? A passably funny, Nancy Pelosi–skewering sketch on the bailout bill from Saturday's episode was posted on NBC.com and Hulu following its original airing, but it's since been taken down (see it here for now). Why? No one knows! Of course conservative-blogosphere speculation is that NBC caved to left-wing political pressure, though what's more likely is that billionaires Herbert and Marion Sandler, who were played in the skit by Darrell Hammond and Casey Wilson, complained about the possibly actionable caption that ran under their names: "People who should be shot." Either way, congratulations, Saturday Night Live, on your best week since "Dick in a Box."

NBC Scrubs 'SNL' Anti-Democrat Bailout Skit From Website [Newsbusters]
It Is Here! The Banned SNL Skit Cannot Hide From Louie [Pat Dollard]

Of all the preposterous, half-wit, truly Gouda moments in Heroes history, a five-second scene in last night’s episode might have truly taken the taco. After Tracy/Nikki/Jessica realizes that Senator Nathan Petrelli also has superpowers (after he flies in to save her from jumping off a bridge), she kisses him. We then get a jump cut to four years in the future, where President Nathan Petrelli, married to First Lady Tracy/Nikki/Jessica, is addressing the press corps after a nuclear explosion in the fictional Costa Verde, California.

When R. Kelly was acquitted on child-pornography charges this summer, it evaporated a legal black cloud that had been hanging over the troubled troubadour for more than six years. But it wasn't clear what, exactly, that would change — Kellz had, after all, never stopped making the sexiest music he was capable of (just like a fireman!). But now the AP is reporting that Kelly filed court documents yesterday requesting a judge's assistance in collecting $3.4 million he's owed by a former tour promoter and we think we know exactly what's changed — somehow, post-acquittal, Kelly's legal karma has turned and, for perhaps the first time in his entire life, he's the one initiating courtroom action!

According to London's unfailingly reliable Daily Mail, Disney is paying Johnny Depp the totally reasonable sum of $56 million for Pirates of the Caribbean 4, the biggest up-front payment to any actor in movie history (Tom Hanks was recently paid a measly $50 million for his forthcoming Angels & Demons, which is now completely embarrassing). "It's a lot of swag but there's only one Johnny Depp," says the Mail's source. "They simply cannot make another Pirates movie without Jack Sparrow."

Might Also Wear Dark Eyeliner?: Anne Hathaway and Helena Bonham Carter have joined the cast of Tim Burton's Wonderland at Disney. Hathaway, who just blew our minds with her jacked-up performance in Rachel Getting Married, will play the White Queen who asks Alice to slay the dreadful Bandersnatch, while Carter will be shouting "off with their heads" as the Red Queen. [HR]

Carell Makes a Smart Move: As part of their courtship in making a Get Smart sequel, Warner Bros. has signed a three-year first-look deal with Steve Carell and his newly created Carousel Productions. The company is staffed by Carell and his two friends, Vance DeGeneres (oh yeah, remember him from The Daily Show?) and Charlie Hartsock (oh yeah, remember him from being Carell's college roommate in real life?). Their projects are expected to flourish with "this strong base of friendships," according to Carell, which is a nice way of saying "me and my friends are gonna hang out and drive your golf carts, suckahs!" [Variety]

Philanthropy Is Broderick's Strong Suit: Master ticket salesman Matthew Broderick will return to Broadway next year in Roundabout Theater Company's revival of Christopher Hampton's The Philanthropist. He'll play a university professor whose life is entirely disconnected from public events, including the assassination of the prime minister, although not from the water-gun assassination of one of his students. [Variety]

In the grand New York tradition that has brought us Italian leather shoes made in Korea and Chinese Mexican food, Antibalas, the Spanish-speaking Afrobeat collective, features only one visibly African-derived member; the dozen remaining musicians seem to represent every other racial demographic. Vive la difference — at last night's concert at South Street Seaport's Spiegeltent, Antibalas packed enough of a wallop to silence any dull questions of authenticity.

The boys, Eric Roberts, and Eric Roberts's drugs head to the desert for some high-spirited soul-searching — an obvious but gratifying plot that reminds us why Entourage is the show we can't stop watching–slash–can't stop hating ourselves for watching!

In Body of Lies, Russell Crowe is alone in most of his scenes, so at the premiere on Sunday his castmates were unable regale us with tales of phone-throwing temper tantrums. However, we did get delicious insight into the notoriously private Leonardo DiCaprio’s off-screen antics. While everyone involved in the movie swore that DiCaprio didn’t preach about environmental issues ("He doesn’t proselytize about anything, but he was very happy when I bought a hybrid. Put it that way," said screenwriter William Monahan), it seems Titanic's Jack Dawson is a talented mimic. Monahan loved his Nicholson impression best but said that DiCaprio does everybody equally well. Michael Gaston remembers DiCaprio’s imitation of director Ridley Scott. French actor Mehdi Nebbou burst out laughing at the thought of — wait for it — DiCaprio’s impression of Nicole Kidman, which he describes as both a physical and vocal impersonation. Oscar Isaac says DiCaprio does a “great, great” Denzel Washington. "I don’t want to get him in trouble, but it was very funny. I’m sure Denzel would love it," Isaac said, laughing. "It really makes him a badass."