cook or be cooked

Martha Stewart Is a Beast at Roasting

Here’s Martha Stewart’s recipe for a roast, exhibited at the preparation of fresh Justin Bieber:

Preheat to 450 degrees; reduce to 350 degrees. Leave no soul unglazed (“Are you listening, Shaq?” Hear my jokes, Shaq! They’re about you and refrigerators, dammit!). Use a sharp knife. Tell your guests not to bother singing for their supper, because their music sucks. Remove when everything has crisped to perfection. It’s perfectly done and YA BURNT.

Martha Stewart Is a Beast at Roasting