Last night after John McCain's speech, we happened upon an adorable white-haired couple beaming and practically skipping down the hall. "You seem happy!" we chirped. "That's because our candidate just got nominated to be president of the United States!" the woman told us. What did you think of the speech? we asked. "Oh, don't ask me. I'm completely biased," said the man. "John and I were roommates way back." Awesome! Bring on the stories of college drunkenness! Did he have any bad roommate habits? we wondered, digging for funny biographical details. "Bad habits? Tons! And he's got a terrific sense of humor," the man said. "Actually, I guess we were more neighbors than roommates." Huh? This story was not making any sense. Then we saw the rather large piece of jewelry around the man's neck. Was that a congressional seal? "Um, sir, where were you roommates?" we asked warily. He handed us his card: Leo K. Thorsness, vice-chairman of the Congressional Medal of Honor Foundation. "Oh, you know, Vietnam," he said with a grin. "I got to Hanoi about six months before he did. I taught John everything he knows."

Last night's Google/Vanity Fair RNC capper party didn't have the wattage of the DNC equivalent bash, which boasted guests from John Kerry to Susan Sarandon. Instead, we found ourselves milling around with Fred Thompson and Henry Kissinger (both of whom, tellingly, refused to talk about McCain's speech), and a whole bunch of exhausted reporters. It had been a long two weeks on the road. Politico.com's Ben Smith said his kids have started playing a game called "Airport," in which his flights get canceled before he reaches the campaign trail. In another corner, we overheard David Brooks saying his children ask his wife if Daddy is dead. Glynnis MacNicol of Mediabistro's FishbowlNY started off her birthday that day having an early breakfast with Karl Rove. And WWD's Jacob Bernstein was counting down the seconds till he could go home and check on his dog, who had been rushed into emergency surgery for bloat.

But it was David Carr, perhaps our favorite person on earth, who gave us the best, most colorful assessment of what it was like to be a reporter here.

It's been a full 48 hours since we last gushed about Levi "Sex on Skates" Johnston. We were going to try to make it through the whole weekend, but seeing him in the audience at the Republican National Convention last night was just too much to bear. He wasn't even chewing gum this time! That chin! That freshly cropped boy hair! He is truly in the most glorious peak of a high-school athlete's hot period. Sure, shortly after he graduates he will get a beer gut and lose those curls. In a few short years he'll be nearly unrecognizable! (We know that's harsh, but think back to all those boys who wore white college hats in your high-school days. Are they hot now? Or did the same thing happen to them that happened to Vince Vaughn?

In honor of this spectacular specimen of barely legal manhood, we've compiled a slideshow of Johnston's greatest looks. If we will be permitted to crib a phrase from Brooke Shields, nothing comes between us and our Levi.

During both the Democratic and Republican conventions, Daily Show correspondents frequently found themselves in trouble with the powers that be. Hearsay has it that in Denver, after Jason Jones pretended to pee on a campfire (he used a water gun) that happened to be near a local Fox News station's van, he was accused of peeing on their equipment. "I heard they were trying to hunt us down and take our credentials away," John Oliver told us. "They made us sound like Spinal Tap!" So imagine being an upstart correspondent for the fledgling Huffington Post–related comedy site, 23/6. Their RNC credentials wouldn't even get them inside the Xcel Center; these they traded for some passes that didn't allow for the shooting of video. But in the maverick spirit of John McCain, they ignored such technicalities. That is, until their on-air personality, New York comedian Eugene Mirman, had a little incident with some chicken. 

The season premiere of Gossip Girl might be one of the most celebrated premieres in the history of television. Off the top of our heads we can think of like, five premiere parties held for The Greatest Show Ever this week, and that's not even counting the Dress Your Dog Like Blair–themed fiesta Intel Jessica had or the party Intel Chris had in his pants. It can all get a little overwhelming, which is why, perhaps, the Observer's Jon Liu felt himself shying away from canned quotes from fake New Yorkers (we hear "Jenny is going to change a lot this year.") and talking to a real New Yorker: An artist named Debbie Branch. "Oh, you know these kids keep coming to Chelsea chasing Basquiat. Well, I was with Basquiat, and even Warhol, and let me tell you, if you want to be an artist you should be anywhere else but New York."

And then later:

"Robert Mapplethorpe? I hate Robert Mapplethorpe. They caught him once with a naked 6-year-old with a bullwhip up his ass, and he said it was art and got all the grants. Let me ask you, if you were 6 years old, would you want a bullwhip up your ass?"

Plus ten reality points!

Confusion, Sartorial and Otherwise, At Yet Another 'Gossip Girl' Party [NYO]

Remember the above video? It was taped on July 25 during a Critical Mass bike ride through the city. In it, you see what appears to be a brutal bodychecking by police officer Patrick Pogan against cyclist Christopher Long. But what you might not have known was that Long was arrested after this incident. The NYPD took him in for obstructing traffic and deliberately steering into Pogan. (After the video came to light, the officer was stripped of his badge and put on desk duty.)

Well, today all charges against Long were dismissed. He's free to ride the streets of the city once again — though we imagine that while he's on his bike he'll steer clear of Times Square in the future. Not that this isn't advice any human resident of New York could have given him in the first place.

DA DROPS CHARGES AGAINST CYCLIST IN YOUTUBE [NYP]
Earlier: Times Square Cyclist-Clobbering May Spur Paterson to Appoint Special Prosecutor

In order to save on printing costs, the Times will cut the number of sections it has in the paper by folding the "Metro" and "Sports" sections into other sections of the newspaper, reports the Observer today: "According to newsroom sources, the Metro Section is moving into the A-section and the Sports section will move into the Business section for some portion of the week." Okay, combining the "Metro" and front sections makes sense, but "Sports" and "Business" is kind of weird, no? What's next, "Automotive" and "Styles"? [NYO]

Set your DVRs! This is the best news we've heard since a black dude joined the New Kids on the Block! [NYDN]

When we saw 44-year-old Vivica A. Fox — who looked smashing — at last night's presentation of Elie Tahari's spring '09 collection, we had to ask her something. See, on her Wikipedia page it says she's an avowed cougar, and we wanted to know all about it. After all, it's so hot right now, even Gossip Girl is doing it!

"I am a woman in my forties that the younger guys have a tendency to be attracted to," she explained. "I'm like, as long as I can breast-feed 'em, cool."

When you think about it, that's way less gross than the male equivalent of that phrase. Vivica offered up a checklist of tips for pre-cougars who too can look forward to someday walking the red carpet in an insanely tight and revealing dress on the arm of a younger man.

"Make sure you work out. Make sure you get microdermabrasion, especially once you get over 40 with that sun and skin damage. And definitely have a great bank account! See, I'm a cougar that likes a young buck that's got the same bank account that I do. I'm not doing any sponsorship programs. I don't do sugar mama. I'm not taking care of anybody, I want somebody to take care of me! Or at least meet me halfway!"

Get that?

The RNC was low on celebrities, but the Creative Coalition, a Hollywood nonpartisan group, flew in a few character actors. Joe ­Pantoliano, who played Ralph Cifaretto on The Sopranos, showed up at the Coalition bash after ­Sarah ­Palin’s speech, impressed with her message about special-needs children. “I have special needs — I suffer from clinical depression,” he said. “Why is it I get diagnosed with clinical depression and I get yelled at for having it?” He also wondered if ­Rudy ­Giuliani might be facing some mental issues of his own. “Talk about denial — this guy’s got to get over 9/11,” Pantoliano said. Still, he thought the former mayor played his role to perfection. “They said, ‘Rudy will be the bad guy.’ He plays my part — I play those guys in movies.” At the same event, ­actor Giancarlo Esposito went a step further. “They were just stirring the pot and getting people fired up. It was almost like a Hitler rally. People were getting a little frenzied on the floor.”

In case you missed it while you were buying three cases of beer to prepare for your "How Many Times Can Republicans Say the Word 'Maverick'?" drinking game last night, above is the first segment of Bill O'Reilly's interview with Barack Obama. More will come next week, but the first part is telling. Things that we immediately noticed:

• Bill O'Reilly says the words "I think" more than any person calling himself a journalist that we've seen interview one of the candidates.
• Obama starts the conversation a little slowly and nervously, which could be worrisome for his supporters who are wary of the upcoming one-on-one debate with McCain.
• But the minute Bill O'Reilly begins to become belligerent and tries to bully Obama, the candidate finds his footing and adeptly fights back. Mitt Romney could never marshal this kind of defense when debating McCain, which is why the Arizona senator made mincemeat of him.
• Bill O'Reilly, unlike his foe Jon Stewart, is a tough interviewer no matter who he's talking to. This makes Campbell Brown's polite persistence with Tucker Bounds a tea party.
• Yeah, Obama's gray hair totally does look real, you guys.

How do you think Obama did?

The O'Reilly Factor [Fox News]

The Giants' opener against the Redskins last night played out like a highlight film of their 2007 season, but in reverse. The night began (at least on NBC's abbreviated coverage of the pregame ceremonies — kickoff was moved up 90 minutes because of John McCain's speech in St. Paul) with Michael Strahan showing off the Lombardi Trophy to a delirious crowd. Then, once the game started, Eli Manning confidently led the Giants downfield for an easy-looking score on a dominant 84-yard opening drive. For good measure, Justin Tuck registered a sack on the first defensive play from scrimmage. Yes, these were the Super Bowl champs.

Aaron Schnore was wasted. But when he saw that mechanical bull at Johnny Utah's, he knew he had to ride it. He was going to ride the shit out of that thing. He was going to show that mechanical bull who was boss. And he did, for a while. Until some freakin' employee turned up the speed so that Schnore would get thrown off.

WTF?

As John McCain was delivering the most important speech of his career last night, the giant video screen behind him turned the color of Mountain Dew, then bright blue. And that was just the most jarring in a series of technical gaffes that knocked the final night of the Republican convention off its bearings before McCain brought his speech to a fairly rousing close.

But the Republicans loved it.